Impending Doom?

Tonight for whatever reason, I have the impending doom feeling, I am having anxiety.  My heart is racing and I can't seem to concentrate.  I would love to say that I am just paranoid.  Sometimes when I have this feeling nothing happens, everything is fine.  However on more than several occasions when I feel like this something happens.  And it's never good.   I have said my prayers.  So what else can you do, try and sleep, sit up until Dan gets home and cry on his shoulder, text everyone you know no matter how late it is to make sure they are ok.

So can I just share part of one of my impending doom stories.  This post is so long at this point no one will probably read this far anyway.  Several days before July 11, 1997 Kelly and Marlene Miller (my church parents) had asked me if I would be able to drive from Oceanside to Yuma, Arizona to pick up Holly (Kelly's youngest daughter from 1st marriage).  She had stayed in Yuma for girls camp, and was back and needed to come to California so they could go on their family vacation.  I of course agreed.  That morning I am not sure why but I wasn't going to shower.  Just a little thing I know, but I really felt prompted to take a shower and not wait until I got back later.  As I drove to Yuma, I had the impending doom feeling.  I took extra caution while driving.  I collected Holly and returned her to Fallbrook.  When I got home to our house, Dan was not home from work yet.  I was instantly angry, because we were supposed to be leaving for Wyoming as soon as he got home.  This was the days of no cell phones, so I called Marlene to see if he had left her a message.  Nothing.  I paced the house.  I got a phone call from Diane (friend from the Marine Corp who now lived in Connecticut).  I was talking with her when call waiting beeped, I quickly clicked over expecting it to be Dan.  Wrong.  It was some high ranking Marine Corp dude.  I don't even remember his rank anymore, I do have it written in my journal somewhere.  The first thing he said to me is "where have you been!"  I said "Yuma?"  He then quickly told me that Dan had been in an accident and had been life flighted to Mission Viejo's trauma center and that I need to call the nurse there as soon as possible.  Long story short I was so glad that I had followed that silly prompting to shower that morning because it was 3 days later before I showered again.

That being said...I take the impending doom feeling very seriously.  I always feel a sense of relief when nothing happens that I can actually pinpoint.  And that is what I am hoping for tonight.  So I am going to go blow my nose and dry my tears and try and concentrate on reading a book until Dan gets home because I know I won't be sleeping.