As we begin the New Year..

I have been prompted to look back. Back upon how quickly my children are growing, back upon how my marriage has changed and progressed. The girls will be graduated and gone before we blink many more times. Tonight as I can't sleep my thoughts are turned to Dan and I.

As February approaches so does the anniversary of the day we were sealed in the San Diego Temple. I remember the day in our little apartment when he asked me to marry him in the Temple. Of course we were already married and Shelbylyn may have been on the way by then I don't remember the exact date, but it was our apartment in Fallbrook, California that overlooked Ammunition Road. What I do remember is that he was so sincere. And as I look back to the morning that he asked me to marry him in 1993 at the Denny's that no longer even exists in Rock Springs I wonder if I really knew of his intentions as I did the day he asked me to be sealed to him.

It's true I live a fairytale compared to others....I've been told many a times this is the case. However even fairy tales have villains in them. Our marriage has had it's share of villains, whether they be issues or real people. Not everyone has wanted this marriage to last, and there have been times when at least I thought it wouldn't. I mean we married at the ages of 18 and 19, let's be realistic and recognize that was not a super great idea. So we have forged forward.

We have grown in the gospel together. We at different times have kept each other from going inactive for various reasons.

We continue to love each other when the people around us who should be loving us unconditionally don't. We have seen each other at our worst and at our best. We have both dried buckets of tears and told each other we will get through this too.

I couldn't be luckier to be sealed to Dan. He picked me...me to be his wife, the mother of his children....his eternal companion. It is a wonderful feeling to know that no matter what has happened, will happen or could happen, he still picks me.

The day we were sealed Shelbylyn was 2 months and 2 days old. I was nervous for of course more than a couple of reasons, but leaving my newborn with someone I didn't even know was frightening! I of course calmed my fears by reminding myself I was leaving her with a grandma in the Temple! Of course she would be fine! The most important part of this paragraph is that when that "grandma sister" brought baby Shelbylyn into our sealing room all dressed in her pretty white dress and placed her on the alter between us....she smiled the most heart melting smile that I will always remember. It was then that I knew that all was right with the world.

So as I really look back on the recent months and most importantly the night I hit the wall and sobbed for over 4 hours in agony over the recent challenges in my life all I really have to remember is that if I look to my right...there he will be...and he chose me.